Lets see what I come up with if I sit here and think about why I am so irritable today.
Why am I mad?
Like big mad.
On the verge of tears because the anger is so densely packed in my chest.
I seriously don’t know what could have happened to make me this ANGRY.
I mean sure, a couple of things were off wack this morning. My oatmeal overflowed in the microwave while I was busy spilling Kool-Aid across my phone. And yeah, I got out of the house late because I couldn’t stop dropping things and I couldn’t find my regular hot and cold cups. Either way, all these things should only be minor irritants and surely by now I should be over them.
It’s been over TWO HOURS since this all happened.
I still managed to get to work early today and even enjoyed a few minutes of solitude while listening to some hood bangers before getting upstairs.
Why am I this angry?
I got to my desk and got a couple of unnecessary emails.
One asking me to do something that could have been done just as easily by the person who sent the email, through a direct email to the company the problem was with.
One asking me to provide information I have already provided, twice.
And one, rudely asking me to provide information that is not my responsibility to provide.
I thought I had taken all of these things in stride but obviously not because as soon as I answered the ringing phone, “Thank you for calling (insert company name), this is Adreanna” and being greeted back with “Hi (insert name of someone else’s name that sounds nothing like Adreanna.), who have I called?” I immediately saw red.
Like for real, it was intense. My nose started burning and I literally started getting lightheaded. I FELT myself about to say or do something that would have gotten me fired. As soon as I hung up the phone I told everyone I needed to take a walk.
I walked the entire parking garage and back down before the squeezing feeling in my chest started to subside.
Why did any of this make me so angry?
That’s not a rhetorical question.
Why did I allow any of these small things get me so angry?
Am I losing my mind?
My fuse is a lot shorter than it used to be, clearly.
I don’t want this negative energy to be the only thing I leave here for today so I am making a promise to come back later and leave something happy, positive, or at the very least, something not as aggressive as this.
I’m determined not to let this ruin my day.
Wish me luck.