First of all, Google is a hell of a drug.

Second of all, how the hell are you?

It’s been a few days since I’ve been capable of putting thoughts together that make sentences to create paragraphs etc. etc.

During my time away, I figured out the reason for my writer’s block…


I’ve had migraines before and they always came with the same symptoms. Half my face would feel like it was on fire while I would try to burrow myself into whatever dark, cold, quiet, place I could find to avoid all light and sound. I’d stay there and ride out the pain roller coaster responsible for my nausea. Sometimes, I’d pray for the sweet release of death because of the intensity of the pain.

Not this time though.

A few weeks ago I woke up feeling like a giant was attempting to squeeze all of my brain matter out of a hair follicle in the top of my head, one spot of my forehead was hot enough to fry up a batch of pickle chips , my nose burned the heat of a thousand suns, and my eyes felt like little elves were attempting to liberate them from their sockets with the tips of daggers. The earth was a torturous tilt-a-whirl as I stood from the bed and walked to the living room searching for colder air.


Now had this been two years ago, I would have chalked this up to having a hangover and I would have immediately reached for my cure of pickles, sprite, crackers, and cigarettes but I will be 1 year sober of alcohol in two months time so it didn’t make sense for me to be feeling this way. I chalked it up to getting bad sleep and powered through the day. I think I even got a blog post out that morning.

The feeling continued day after day, sometimes in the mornings, sometimes while I was in the middle of cooking, sometimes while sitting and doing absolutely nothing. The pain would fade in and out but was always present. I tried a number of things, cold compresses to the face, I changed my sleeping pattern, hell I even put my mattress on the floor convinced I was getting horrible sleep. Because I also battle with anxiety, I knew that telling my wife about what was going on was only going to get me one of two responses. Go to the Dr., or Take some medicine, followed by an eye roll or sigh of exasperation that I was yet again over reacting to an anxiety created, imaginary ailment. I decided to keep my pain to myself, hoping that it would turn out to be just that.

It wasn’t until I began to notice a change in my mood and feeling very close to fainting multiple times a day, that I realized something was definitely wrong. One morning I’d had to pull over on my way to work because I couldn’t see anything and I couldn’t shake the feeling of malaise. So what did I do as a broke ass black woman with no money to pay a copay to see my GP?

I went to see Dr. Google to try and find answers.


In standard fashion I was first assaulted with claims that I had cancer, diabetes, pre-diabetes, and lastly, gut fermentation syndrome (a condition where your body turns your food into alcohol because of an overproduction of yeast in your digestive tract).

Uhm… No.

I’ve been through Dr. Google’s shenanigans before and thank goodness I’ve been able to keep my anxiety mostly in check because I was able to immediately dismiss these false diagnoses with relative ease. After a few more searches I finally decided to listen to the barely audible voice in my head, telling me to google migraine symptoms.


But wait.

Why didn’t anyone tell me migraine symptoms switch up on you out of nowhere? This damn sure would have saved me a bunch of time worrying about whether or not I was having my food turn into alcohol on me, or if the fruit snacks i badly wanted to eat would send me into a diabetic coma.

Wouldn’t you know it, as soon as I figured out what had me crawling out of bed every morning feeling like I’d been run over by a Mack truck, the symptoms subsided and this has been the first relatively pain free day I’ve had.

So i’ll say again HELLOOOOO EVERYBODY!!!

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