All women know how to give good head!

 

Why is this such a popular stereotype?

All of the stereotypes I am familiar with have an origin story. Like the one about black people and watermelon, and black people and fried chicken, and black people…. well, I think you get the point.

So I am very curious where this one came from.

Who was this lucky ass woman who had the privilege to go from woman to woman testing their abilities to deliver expert mouth and lip service?

How many women were apart of this case study?

After all of the women she experienced, she came to the conclusion that every one of them possessed the tongue of a fellatio god?!?!?!??

Why images was images I imagesnot imagescalled??????

Cause it never happened, that’s why!

 

This stereotype, like most others, is complete bullshit. I’ve had plenty of experience with women giving me bad oral sex, and i’m sure i’m not the only one.

Wait, is this some type of secret we are supposed to be keeping from men?

If so, my bad. Y’all should have made sure I got the weekly lesbian newsletter that outlined these rules.

Y’all always excluding me, smh.

Of the many times I have experienced bad oral sex, one particular time is standing out more prominently.

Should we do a story time?

I think we’re gonna do a story time!

THISGONBGUD

 

Flash back to my single days:

I logged onto my Downelink profile and hit up a chatroom (for those of you who are unfamiliar with Downelink , it was Myspace for the gay and lesbian community in the late 90’s early 2000’s). I had just gotten a new webcam for my computer and was anxious to try it out. (Having a webcam was a big deal back then). If you went into any online chatroom and didn’t have one you were quickly dismissed as unworthy of conversation and literally ignored, regardless of how fire your profile picture was or what R&B top chart song you had playing on your background. Mine was Sex with you by Marquez Houston (No, thot-hood and thirst trapping did not escape me).

I was maybe 18 at this time and walking proudly through my thirst trap days as was evidenced from my own profile picture. After trying repeatedly to get into one of the more popular rooms I was finally granted access. I spent a few minutes setting the background music I wanted to play over the low quality speakers and rolled the customary “I want you to think i’m cool” blunt (weed) to smoke on camera before I was finally ready to go live.  After a while someone finally tuned into my camera and began a conversation with me. “Tasha” was a super cute girl who was a few years older than me and was in Houston for Splash (a yearly gay and lesbian beach event on Galveston Island). We talked for a while that night and then exchanged phone numbers since I was going to be going to the same event. We talked everyday leading up to the beach party and made plans to hook up while we were there.

The day finally came and I went to meet her at her hotel room. After partying, drinking and smoking on the beach all day we retired to her room.We had been sending each other racy texts and having some pretty heavy phone conversations up to this point so we both knew it was going down that night. From the way this girl was talking,. I just knew this was going to be good.

conceitWe made it to the bed and after a few minutes of kissing and heavy petting we started losing clothes. She made her way to my belt line as I lay there drunk and excited for what was about to come. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain and realized this girl had bit me on my vagina. SHE. BIT. ME. ON. MY. VAGINA.

Teeth.

I tried to sit up and she grabbed my legs locking me down, thinking I was trying to run away from her because she was giving me pleasure. Trapped, I continued to lay there squirming and trying my hardest to get from under the roughest tongue lashing I’ve ever experienced in life. She obviously thought I was really enjoying myself because as hard as I tried to pull away from her the closer she pulled me onto her face. I hated this girl!

And then. She found. My clit.

Why Lordt?

She began furiously flicking at the already hurting button like she was trying to push it back. What the hell, had I gotten myself into. I guess her mouth, jaw, tongue, something must have finally gotten tired because she  looked up at me and asked why I hadn’t cum yet. She was serious. Deadass.

I was pissed.

Seizing the opportunity I told her I wasn’t feeling too well and blamed it on the heat and alcohol as I made my way from the bed and to the bathroom to get dressed. I didn’t even bother to stay and try to shower, I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could.

Now tell me this. Does that sound like a good experience to you? Does that sound like a woman who knew what the hell she was doing?

Just like not all women are capable of giving mind-blowing blow jobs to men the same goes for women. Each woman is different and at the end of the day it comes down to how receptive you are to your partners likes and dislikes.

Helpful tip: Unless your partner tells you they like to be bitten in their private area, automatically assume it’s not the move to make.

Til’ next time!

Don’t judge me, you don’t know my life.

Disclaimer: These are my real life experiences with women who’s names have been changed for the sake of this post.

 

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