Warning: If you are sensitive to the topic or can not handle reading about someone else’s experience without feeling personally attacked, this is not for you. I repeat, this is my experience, not an attack on any person.
I’ve been trying for a good little while now, not to go into this. Partly because I didn’t, and still am not, certain the voice I want to use to discuss this. However, being confronted with all of these things in one day has left me with a burning need to get this off my chest.
There are 3 events I am going to purge my feelings about here and over the next few posts that all contribute to how I am feeling at the moment.
If you’ve had the time to keep up with my ramblings you’ll know that I very recently made the decision to cut my hair and I am loving it. Sure, the maintenance and upkeep of rocking my hair in it’s natural state has been a little intense to start, but overall I can’t complain. I decided to do the big chop two weekends ago because of some damage caused to my hair from some cute ass box braids I was rocking. Even though I had cut all of my hair off my head before, this time I was a little insecure about the cut for the first few days. Nevertheless, I got up Monday morning for work and styled my t.w.a in the cutest way I could. I did my eyebrows to give myself a little bit of a self esteem boost and headed out the door.
When I got to work I was greeted with enthusiasm and rave reviews about my hair which took the edge off enough for me to worry about my hair less, and focus on my work. For the first few days I got up early and did my eyebrows, still trying to adjust to my new haircut, and by Friday of last week I was in full acceptance of my new look and didn’t feel like I needed or wanted to do my eyebrows anymore. After all, I had stopped wearing make-up of any sort months ago and I didn’t miss the routine and hassle of having to remove it at the end of some very long days.
While working on some things at my desk Friday, my boss walked by and made a comment about my eyebrows not being done. She and I often share war stories about the inconvenience that is make-up so I took the statement in good humor and basically brushed it off. She made the comment a few more times, throwing in that she felt like my new hairstyle really popped with my eyebrows done, when I really started to take notice.
And then, today happened.
We were preparing for a team meeting with a representative from our corporate offices when she walked towards me and said “I can’t believe you didn’t even do your eyebrows today, Adreanna I can’t.” in a haha joking kind of way that didn’t feel like it was a joke at all.
I didn’t know what to say, so I opted to say nothing at all.
We went into the meeting (we’ll go into that in the next post) which lasted all of two hours, before we each returned to our desks. Several things had taken place during the meeting that drew my memory from the statement she had made and I had gotten started working on things that would be coming due in the next few days. You know, minding my damn business and doing my fucking job. My boss, we’ll call her Morgan, along with another co-worker came to meet at my desk to go over some things we had coming up as a team. I was in the middle of taking notes when Morgan said to me, “Really Adreanna, you have to get it together. Look at your finger nails, some of them are long, some are short, you didn’t even do your eyebrows today what’s going on.” again in a haha laughing manner. The other co-worker made a comment to her to which I responded by bringing to her attention that she has been on my about my appearance all day.
I’ve been sitting and thinking about this for quite some time today.
So here’s where I am now:
- As she is my boss, and is in the habit of saying things she really means as a “joke”, do I take her “playful suggestions” as her way of letting me know that she doesn’t feel my appearance is acceptable for work?
- Do I start to do my eyebrows everyday to placate her, even though there is nothing in the employee about women having to wear make-up?
- Do I tell her that her comments about my appearance are hurtful and ask her to stop?
- Do I not say anything and keep trying my hardest to become self employed so I don’t have to continue to put up with things like this?
Honestly, I feel like she doesn’t like the haircut or my decision to go natural. Which is fine, it’s a decision I made for me, not everyone else. Regardless, I can’t keep letting these comments go without addressing them one way or another.
What do you think about this situation?
I need advice on how to move forward with this guys.
Until next time…
Don’t judge me, you don’t know my life!!