Why did I get married?

‘Cause, I ain’t have shit better to do, that’s why!

Let me stop playing.

I could sit here and say I got married for some hetero- normative reason.

I could say I got married because of some hallmark card bullshit, but the truth of the matter is…

We had already been in a committed relationship for 7 years when the law was finally passed legalizing gay marriage. Before then, we had been listed on each other’s insurance policy’s and legal documents. We had been each other’s emergency contacts practically since the day we met and everything we owned we bought together. There was no reason for us to go get married because as far as we were concerned we already were.

Then we started talking to some of our long term, committed, lesbian friends about grown up life stuff and I began to worry.

I thought I had all of my I’s dotted and my T’ crossed when it came to making sure Tremaine was going to be okay if something were to happen to me. Watching news stories about gay, lesbian, and trans couples who also thought they were protected, only to find out after the heartbreaking death of their spouse that the after life contingencies they had set up were not iron clad.

I started to panic.

People say all kinds of things and mean well as long as money isn’t involved and I was worried for Tre. I didn’t want her to have to fight with members of my family to keep things I’d left for her.

We had been talking a lot at that time about having a baby and were looking into adoption, which was another concern of mine. I knew that I could adopt a child without being married but what would happen to that child if I were to pass away? Would she have to fight for custody of our child after?

It was all too open for me to ignore.

So we did it.

We made the decision to get married in June of 2015 and we made it official in December.


Do I love my wife? Absolutely! But that had nothing to do with why I married her.

I got married to protect Tremaine. 


Why did you get married?

Leave it down below.

Until next time…

Don’t judge me, you don’t know my life!!

One thought on “Why did I get married?

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