Trouble, Trouble

I can’t write.

My focus is all over the place today.

My eyes are burning and I feel like I want to take a nap.

I know I should be working on Chapter 8 right now and to be fair, that is exactly what I’d sat down to  do. I opened up my word processor and began reading from chapter 1. Same as I do every Saturday before I begin working on another chapter but I can’t make myself read the words I’ve written today.

As hard as I’ve been trying this morning, I can’t make myself interested or focused enough to read.

Even writing this post has proved a hassle. I’ve started it, erased it, and started again at least a half dozen times, interrupted by interest in the current episode of Law and Order (I’ve now gone through 3 just trying to get this out.).

Why is this so difficult right now? It’s my own damn thoughts. Shouldn’t they just flow from my head through my fingers and onto this screen?

Maybe I’m in my own head about it too much. Putting too much pressure on myself to put out something that I think people will want to read.

Where did this insecurity come from? Who sent it for me? All of my posts have a level of reservation about them but I’ve still been able to get out the gist of what I want to say with relative ease.

Will writing uninhibited produce different results or am I stuck in some godforsaken mental prison whose walls I’ve built myself?

I’m going to try to write again later today. No excuses. Maybe my golden nugget of inspiration and motivation are waiting for me in the later hours of the day.


Until next time…

Don’t judge me, you don’ know my life!!

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