7 Things I’ve learned in my 10 year relationship.

Tre and I have spent a decade together. We met when we were in our early twenties, at the time where neither of us really knew who we were yet. We definitely didn’t know that this is where we would wind up all these years later. In addition to her being my very best friend she has been my support system, my rock, my happiness and my reason for waking up every single day. Everyday with her brings something new and I have learned many lessons through our time together. Here’s a few of them:

Flexibility

When you make the choice to share your life with someone you have to truly be willing to share your life with that person. Be open to the fact that things are going to switch up, change direction, and zig zag. Being open to change helps keep the road smooth between us.

Agree to disagree

About 90% of the time Tre and I seem to share a brain. It’s really uncanny, we can just look at each other and know what the other is thinking. This ability comes in handy when we are making fun of people in public or want each other to know we disagree with something without saying so out loud. Then there’s the other 10% of the time where we couldn’t be more different and that’s when the trouble starts. In the beginning of our relationship, and even as recently as a couple of years ago, I could not comprehend the idea of her having a difference of opinion than I. If we disagreed on something I would turn into a master debater trying to convince her why my way of thinking was correct which only served to make her stand even more firm in her resolve, further pissing me off. After years of making myself angry, I finally decided, in an attempt at being passive aggressive, to just say okay and walk away when we disagreed. My plan backfired on me in a good way. Just by agreeing to disagree we have avoided so many unnecessary arguments it’s unreal.

Be Direct

For a while I tried that thing that girls do where they hint around at what they want and then get mad when it’s misunderstood. Let me tell you what that got me, it landed me in a word of “I don’t know”. I confused my damn wife so bad she still doesn’t know. I’ve found the simplest way to get what I need or want from her is to just be direct. Instead of beating around the bush about washing dishes, knowing what’s in the bank account, or what I want for holiday’s I tell her straight up what I need and she is the bomb.com at making sure it happens.

Admit when you’re wrong

This one was, and is, a hard one for me. While most of the time I am right , I have been known to be wrong a time or two and when that happens I initially don’t know how to handle it. But I am learning and getting better everyday about admitting when I’m wrong.

Laughter is the best medicine

There’s multiple reasons why Tre is my best friend but the main one is that she makes me laugh from that healthy place that makes all your stomach muscles hurt and your face get all ugly. There are so many things that happen everyday that can really get a person down. Knowing that through the toughest of times we are able to laugh through keeps me going.

Alone time is necessary

It’s easy to get caught up in the routine of living together and intertwining our lives but I have to remember to take time for myself. I still get caught up by this one from time to time. Out of nowhere I’ll look up and realize I haven’t had any time to myself to just be an individual in months. It’s natural to want to be with the one you love but you also have to make time for yourself as well as give your partner time to themselves.

We’re going to get on each other’s nerves

It doesn’t matter how compatible you may be with another person. At some point, you are going to get on each others last freaking nerve and that’s okay. It happens in every aspect of life whether its your work relationships, family members or friends so trust your romantic relationship is no different.

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Until next time…

Don’t judge me, you don’t know my life!!

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