My body is my worst enemy

I’ve been dieting and working out and the scale has barely moved.

I’ve cut out meat from my diet. I don’t drink, and have been loading my plates full of fruits and vegetables for the last three weeks. Ive cut my calorie intake by 750 calories a day and I’ve been going to the gym 4 times a week for the past three weeks.

All of the work I’ve put in. The sweat, the aching sore body, all endured to see that I’ve lost 1 pound.

A single pound is what I have to show for weeks of hard work.

I was feeling particularly hopeless this morning so I went to my favorite source for information.

“Why cant I lose weight?” I typed in the search bar.

I got halfway down the page when I saw the first website that mentioned P.C.O.S.

I always forget that I have P.C.O.S.


I mean, I am concious that I have to shave my beard everyday and apply concealer to my jaw line to prevent the stares and stubble but I dont actively think about the fact that I have P.C.O.S. everyday.

Maybe I should start.

It reminded me that I was diagnosed with it a few years ago.

Tre and I had gone to see some fertility specialists to begin the process of having a child. During our very first appointment they hooked me up to all kinds of machines to check my health before we could move on to next steps.They drew so much blood from me that I day I was starting to wonder if they were being straight about what they were actually going to be using it for. Next, the nurses took me into an exam room and asked me to strip from the waist down. She told me they wanted to do an ultrasound on my pelvis to check the health of my ovaries. It only took a few uncomfortable minutes for her to find the source of my fertility issues. It was right there on the screen for me to see. The dreaded string of pearls lining my uterine wall.

Not much information was offered to me that day about having P.C.O.S. or at any point really. Everything that I have learned about my diagnosis I’ve learned on my own.

I found out from good old Dr. Google that the beard, the painful unpredictable menstrual cycles, and bulging waist line were all symptoms of this disorder. What I didn’t realize was that just by having it, it makes my weight loss journey a lot harder than that of someone who doesn’t.

So this morning I allowed myself to click on the webpage that offered more information about weight loss struggles for a person suffering from P.C.O.S. and I think I may have found some helpful information.

Apparently, another symptom of P.C.O.S. is insulin resistance. Being resistant to insulin means that instead of my body burning energy it is storing it away as fat.

What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?

Across multiple websites it was recommended that cutting calories is not the answer and that if I want to see significant progress what I need to do is cut all sugar and majority carbs from my diet.

I have been reducing the amount of sugar and carbs in my diet but I have not cut them out completely as of today. Could this really be the key to seeing weight loss for me?

At this point I’m desperate enough to try anything.

There was a 7 day meal plan posted on one of the websites. I downloaded it and am going to hit the grocery store soon to buy the things I need to meal prep for next week.

If I have the energy I will blog it out. either way, I’ll keep you updated on my progress.

While I am glad for the one pound of weight I have taken off my pleasantly or unpleasantly plump body (depends on the day of the week or my outfit), I am more than a little frustrated that the weight is refusing to come off my body.

Until next time…


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