The aftermath.

Okay, So I don’t want anyone getting ideas and thinking that Tre and I are gonna show up at some event in the near future with a new member of our family.

What am I talking about? What happened?

I’m sitting at work and cleaning out my website dashboard. A huge part of that is something I have been dreading doing for a few months, which is cleaning out my draft box. Before just blankly deleting my little thought nuggets of yester-year, I went through and re-read them. One of the ones I came across but never published was this one.

Once I went back and read this post I sat wondering why I never posted it. For the most part it was completed.

A question I threw out to the universe but decided I wasn’t strong enough to take the answer to so I just left it lingering.

Today however, I saw it in a different light. Farther removed from it, I recognize it as a valuable snapshot of what was going on at a period in our lives. So, I posted it. I didn’t anticipate it generating the type of response that it did and so I feel I owe you all some sort of explanation on what ended up happening.

We’ve decided against adding kids to our family.

I went home the afternoon after writing that post to have a serious sit down with Tre, as I strongly encourage any adult considering family extension to do. Some of the things we discussed were covered in the previous post.

Here are a few of the other things we discussed :

  • Evaluating our individual strengths and weaknesses and how we could use them to benefit the life of another person.
  • The financial responsibility that comes with caring for another person in addition to legal fees, adoption fees, and possibly sharing the hospital expenses of the birth mother if we decided to take that route.
  • Being present and accommodating to the scheduling needs of a child.
  • The cost of childcare and balancing work life around the child’s needs.
  • Sharing the workload of raising a child.
  • Counseling
  • Emotional investment
  • Parenting styles

I’m sure there were other things we discussed but this is all I can remember right now.

After a very long talk we both decided that while we are both in love with the idea of caring for a person who needs love, together we felt uncertain about being able to meet the needs of a child.

This isn’t to say that this is the end of the conversation but for now, children are not in our charts.

So! I’m sorry to get everyone all riled up, lol. But if you’re waiting on us to bring home a new relative, you’re gonna have to wait a little while longer.

Until next time.

Don’t judge me. You don’t know my life!!!

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